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10 Keys to Positive Parenting

Positive parenting, sometimes called positive discipline, gentle guidance, or loving guidance, is simply guidance that keeps kids on the right path. The goals of positive parenting are to raise children who want to behave appropriately, and to raise children who turn into well-adjusted, productive adults. Listed are 10 keys to positive parenting that are easy to follow and incorporate into your family life.

10 Steps to Positive Parenting:

  1. Promote problem solving skills – If your child is faced with a problem, allow them to come up10 Keys to Positive Parenting with solutions to the problem before jumping in to help them.
  2. Say “no” sometimes – It is important for children to learn they can’t always get everything they want, and to be able to wait and/or earn desired items.
  3. Create a daily routine – Children respond very well to structure and routine. Daily routines can make things like getting ready in the morning, dinner, and bedtime a smoother process for everyone.
  4. Be a good role-model – If your kids see you responding by yelling or raising your voice everything something goes wrong, they are most likely going to start responding the same way. Kids often model the behaviors of their parents, so remaining calm in times of crisis will help your children learn do the same.
  5. Avoid spanking or other physical discipline – This can lead to your child being fearful of you and/or teach them that being physical with other is an appropriate response. There are many alternative consequences for negative behaviors other than physical discipline. If your current consequence is not decreasing the behavior, then keep trying different ones until you find a consequence that works.
  6. Be consistent with consequences If you punish a negative behavior one time, but not the next time, that negative behavior is going never go away. Being inconsistent can cause confusion in your child and they will not know what is expected of them. Also, make sure all family members are on the same page and addressing all behaviors in the same way.
  7. Provide natural consequences – This will help your child learn that their behavior can have both positive and negative consequences. If they break a toy, don’t run out and buy them another one. Doing this will teach your child there are no consequences for their behavior. Conversely if they get all A’s on their report card you want to provide some type of reward and praise.
  8. Reward and praise behaviors that you want to see again in the future – For example, if your child cleaned their room the first time you ask, reward that behavior instead of letting it go unnoticed. Rewarding and praising appropriate behaviors will increase the likelihood of these behaviors occurring again.
  9. Follow through – If you ask you child to do something, make sure they do it. If you ask and then never follow through, your child will learn they don’t need to listen to you. Even when your cries or gets upset, it is very important to remain firm and ensure they follow through with what you asked them to do.
  10. Give your child freedom to make their own mistakes and learn from them – It is natural to want to protect your child and prevent them from making mistakes, however it is important for children to learn from their mistakes and take steps to prevent those same mistakes from occurring in the future.


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NSPT offers services in BucktownEvanstonHighland ParkLincolnwoodGlenview and Des Plaines. If you have questions or concerns about your child, we would love to help! Give us a call at (877) 486-4140 and speak to one of our Family Child Advocates today!

Reference: http://www.positive-parents.org/2011/06/positive-parenting-what-why-how_15.html

 

Self-Care Tips From A Mental Health Practitioner

As a mental health practitioner, I strive to educate my clients and families about the art of balance. It is not to say that indulging in delicious foods is “all bad” and being organized, routinized, and ahead of the curve is “all good.” What type of professional would I be if I didn’t practice what I preach? Here are some of my self-care tips that keep me happy, keep me healthy, and most of all, keep me balanced.

Self-Care Tips:self care tips

  1. Find time to exercise. Not only does it help keep your physique, it provides for an undisturbed outlet of “me time.” I use this opportunity to release stress, challenge my strength, and be tech-free save my iPod. I am unplugged and truly get to focus in the moment.
  2. You are what you eat. I am a firm believer that diet impacts the way you think, the way you feel, and how you navigate the trial and tribulations of daily life. If I am hungry, forget it. I eat balanced, nutritious meals that provide me fuel to get me through the day and are nutrient-dense. I have recalibrated my expectations for feeding to reflect foods that provide nutritional value and taste good. The goal of eating is not to live to eat, but to eat to live. Indulging at times is essential but I feel that taking control over my food choices positively impacts my mood. I control what I eat, whether it is kale or deep dish pizza and that makes all the difference.
  3. Know your limits. If you have had a long week and would prefer to veg on the couch vs. go out to dinner with friends, do just that. I have learned that the company you keep will be in your corner regardless. We live in an age of FOMO (fear of missing out) and this can often influence us to push our boundaries and offset the things that are essential for us to feel good. If you think it would be wise to stay in, you can always reschedule. There will always be other opportunities to socialize.
  4. Know when to say NO. It’s amazing all of the things we are capable of completing, accomplishing, and doing in a day. At the end of the night, I always like to reflect and see how many tasks I have been able to squeeze into that day and it amazes me at how much can be done. But that doesn’t mean it ALWAYS has to be that jam-packed. Yes, some days are hectic and full but make sure that not every day is filled to the brim otherwise you risk burnout, cranky moods, and illness.

Click here for more self-care tips when you are a parent.

NSPT offers mental health services in BucktownEvanstonHighland ParkLincolnwoodGlenview and Des Plaines. If you have questions or concerns about your child, we would love to help! Give us a call at (877) 486-4140 and speak to one of our Family Child Advocates today!

Why saying no is a good thing

5 Reasons Saying “No” To Your Kids Is A Good Thing

Parents have a hard time saying no to their children because they want their child to be happy and to have positive experiences. They are concerned that if they say no, it will lead to unhappiness, defiance, a lack of creativity and a decreased sense of self-esteem in their child. Today, more than ever, it is important for parents to be comfortable with saying “no” to their children. Saying no without frustration/anger and following through with what you say let’s a child know that you care about them and that you want them to be safe. In other words, saying no is a good thing.

Here are five additional reasons why saying no to your child can be a good thing:Why saying no is a good thing

  1. Children want you to say no. They actually like structure and limit setting by parents and typically respond better to parents that can provide consistency and who hold them accountable for their actions.
  2. Saying “no” provides teachable moments. It allows your child to learn that they cannot always have what they want.
  3. It teaches children to delay gratification and to learn how to be patient.
  4. It teaches them to learn how to handle disappointment and helps them to learn how to work through disappointment through problem solving other solutions.
  5. It also teaches them how to respect their parents and other adults, as well as allows them to prepare for being in the “real world.”

Need help getting your child’s behavior under control? Click here to read a blog on 1-2-3 Magic Behavioral Principles!