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Sensory Club for Kids - Chicago

How To Help Your Child Find The Right Friends

Helping children navigate their social environment can be challenging terms of developing self-initiation, advocacy, and flexibility skills. What is your role as a parent in facilitating the development of your child’s new friendships?

How to Help Your Child Find the Right Friends:

  1. Have your child develop a list of “friend criteria” that a peer has to meet to be considered a friend. For example, “friend criteria” may include nice, kind, asks questions of others, is respectful, and is inclusive. Thishelp you child make the right friends helps your child differentiate levels of intimacy between peers that are classmates, acquaintances, friends, and even best friends. When a child can determine positive qualities in a peer that meet his list, he can begin to ask these individuals to have playdates and increase exposure to enhance the level of intimacy. On the contrary, if a child is referring to a peer as a “friend” but this individual is not nice or exclusive of your child, this check list will help him see what a friend should be.
  2. Role-play scenarios with your child about how to initiate with another child in social situations. Develop several examples of conversation starters and follow up questions to enhance your child’s confidence when engaging with peers. Utilizing the “friend criteria” will also help your child discern if a peer is worthy of continual approaching depending out the outcomes of these initiations (i.e. if your child asks a peer to play but that peer continues to say no, teach your child to identify other peers they can play with since this individual does not meet their description of “friend criteria”).
  3. Teach your child age-appropriate communication and self-advocacy skills when expressing his needs to friends. Arming your child with calm and direct verbal and non-verbal skills can help them accurately express their thoughts and feelings to peers as well as handle any conflict that may arise.

As a parent, try to teach your children the skills to be the friends they are seeking. If a child is kind, communicative, inclusive, and compassionate, they can begin to recognize similar qualities in others.

Read here for tips to raise your child’s social IQ!







social IQ

Tips to Raise Your Child’s Social IQ

 

 

Social IQ is a concept developed around the idea of social skills and how well-developed they are in social settings. So much awareness is involved in developing social skills: Tone of voice, facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, and personal space (just to name a few). It is amazing we learn most of them through observation alone! Where is the class that teaches us how to share, compliment, join a group, manage conflict, and express and understand feelings!?
For some kids, social skills develop naturally and without much emphasis, but for others, these can be daunting skills to tackle. With the new school year upon us, the classroom is a breeding ground for social mishaps and social victories.

If you notice your child struggles in social situations, here are some things you can do to help raise his Social IQ:

  • Get to know your child’s strengths and weaknesses: Is he flexible with his friends or does he tend to be a bit bossy?
  • Discuss with them the importance of friendships and what he thinks it means to be a ‘good friend’.
  • Set realistic social goals with your child (i.e. Lilly will congratulate two classmates if they win in a game or Johnny will introduce himself to a new classmate and ask to join in on an activity at recess.).
  • Involve teachers and counselors to help reinforce and observe goals.
  • Help your child talk about and identify feelings, facial expressions, and gestures.
  • Practice conflict management: develop a plan that’s easy to remember in ‘heated’ moments.
  • Take a deep breath, count to 3, and use “ I feel ______ when _________”.
  • Practice skills at home (i.e. sharing, complimenting, asking questions, waiting her turn to talk) and be a good role model!
  • Join a social skills group.
  • Social skills go far beyond the examples mentioned here, so this can be a great opportunity to not only learn new skills, but practice them with their peers in a structured setting.

Click here for a list of apps to help teach social skills.